29 San Francisco
THE INTERVIEW
July 11, 2009. 1:10pm
Dir. Travis Mathews: Hi Jesse!
Jesse: Hi Travis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Travis: can you set the scene for us. where are you, what are you doing, listening to, etc...
Jesse: i think its funny that you asked what im listening to.
Travis: funny, why?
Jesse: because there's like this compulsory thing amongst cool boys (like us) that there is constant music happening. anyway...
Travis: i think you're right about music being compulsory, but i think it's a lot to do with our age perhaps more than our demographic. no?
Jesse: what is OUR age travis? im 28. you?
Travis: uh oh
Jesse: :)
Travis: im 34 for the record
UNCHECKED ELITISM
Travis: you talked about liking top 40, fast food...things that eschew the uber coolness that kinda seeps out of san francisco at times. I think you said that there's a lot of unchecked elitism in san francisco that bugs you, can you say anything more about that.
Jesse: yeah i can. i mean...i certainly have no desire to sound unkind or untolerant (though i am both things often i guess) but i do feel that sf culture seems to be built as much on foundations of resistance to things as is it in interest of things. food culture is hard for me because i love good tasting food and i know that the food system is totally in crisis and i want to support businesses and organizations that offer organic and fram-driven products and stuff...but there are so few outreach programs to make those offering reach beyond the noe valleyers and bernal heightsers. i work in the "gourmet ghetto" so i see who is eating well in SF. not to sound omniscient or anything. but its about education and access and so i think that keeping the secrets of sustainability (in all of its reaches) amongst the elite is really an act of racism, and classism. it keeps working class folks in sub-par health and keeps us whiteys getting stonger every day. aint no mcdonalds in bernal heights. whatever...ugh. politics are so depressing. lets talk about candy and vacations and fucking!
Travis: okay, well move on. ;)
Jesse: i dont mean to be bossy. im just being expressive. Im sick and it makes me like this.
PLAYING HIMSELF
Travis: right from the beginning you seemed to have a clear understanding of the everyday banalities I wanted to capture. Im thinking of that priceless mother's day call and the scabs on your knee. when i got to your apt you even said something to the effect of "i have this scab im wanting to pick, but i thought you might want to film it". when you said that I knew we were going to work well together. how is it playing yourself?
Jesse: right. well...to be honest...i do what you do in a sense. and playing myself is something that i have a sharp and developed consciousness of...probably from being a queer kid iwth secrets, from my training in undergrad, and from having uber-communicative romances where i had people bouncing stuff about me back to myself constantly. im aware. tragically, even. and i know how to come in and out of it.
Travis: you seemed very natural and comfortable and all those little events flowed in and out of each other really nicely...can you talk about your art and how it's similar
Jesse: i think i can. so i make dance performances or what would classified as "contemporary dance theater". so....i work alot with theories of performance, playing with performing and NOT performing, using simple tasks to show the movement events that take place when people just do what they can with what they have. i play with repitition and fatigue and sometimes with more dancey and interpretive stuff,but over all im into re-imagining super simple actions or images in a way that let's them stand firmly as watchable work. its always such a dumb trainwreck when i try to explain my work. its just conceptual enough that its hard to explain, but when you see it, its like...thos simple but extreme recital of tasks and random things that we do with out bodies, in relationship to eachother and other things. im actually writing a grant right now and im explanation of my "current work" in the proposal is about as brilliant as that crap i just spewed at you. hehe. alas. but as far why its similar...banalities contain an awful of truth (DUH) and while THAT doesnt thrill me in and of itself, the ways that we can contort and stretch those banalities can be produce really bizarre and moving images and moments. so thats what i try to do. long and short: im a choreographer. :)
Travis: i agree about the banalities holding a wealth of good telling information. i like to think of them as the in-between moments that often get edited out because they're not real events or points of conflict. but i think people are hungry to see that stuff because it screams REAL.
Jesse: so artful!
GETTING OFF
Travis: at a certain point you told me that you didnt think you were going to take off your boxers, but by the end of the hour you were jerking off. what happened to change your mind?
Jesse: do you really wanna know? recorded.
Travis: of course
Jesse: okay...so its totally what i explained that day. i had 7 cysts on my scrotum that i was getting surgically removed the next day. having them there had made me really fucked in the head about showing my genitals to anybody. i had been like...holding my ball sac in my hand and covering it while getting a blowjob the week before. but in the shower i kind of had this monent where i remembered what kind of person and artist i am and decided that the cysts were bascially what was HAPPENING and thats the fucking work, so i brought 'em out. and of course, they were barely visible from the camera. but seriously, whats more sexy that dealing with/loving your body for what it looks like, eh? so then i went from bashful to monster. :)
Travis: i love your honesty. we talked some about this post shoot, but i didnt know the specifics of what turned things around. i suspected something as much.
Jesse: you are a sleuth.
Travis: its my job. when was the last time you had a camera hovering around you as you came?
Jesse: work. never.
Travis: so how was that, and how was it watching it edited down
Jesse: while it was happening i was pretty much blissed out and didnt care. and then when i saw it i thought: eh..i looked alright. was it wierd for you that i did that? did it turn you on? i know thats a funny question, but i just wondered if you really succeeded it just remaining totally unsexual from your POV? even if im not your cup of tea....it was so...visceral. since we might be friends, we kind of have to talk about this, i think. :)
Travis: ive been asked a lot about the shoots in general, 'do i get turned on, do i have sex w ya'll, etc' and as trite as it might sound i try to stay focused on getting good sexy shots that I know I can work with later...and focusing on the technicalities deters me from getting caught up in the moment. that said, i thought you were totally sexy. are you kidding me? my favorite moment is actually this tiny barely audible noise that you make. it's very real and intimate feeling, to me.
ISO SUPERSTAR
Travis: so what did you think of the other guys in the ITR piece?
Jesse: haha...um...lets see...i know mike. and i think he's really cute. and i know parker and have had sex with him and he's nice. i thought they guys were....oh i dont know...i didnt really experience any surprises. dino has a nice dick. i thought you captured eli really well. i dont know him well at all (we've met once or twice) but his segments felt - for better or worse - authentic. i thought parker was kind of not at all himself, but know him. i guess i felt like it was a bunch of hipsters (myself included) doing their thing.
Travis: what kind of boy are you looking for when you're looking for one?
Jesse: i am looking for a guy who is just incredible. i need a real show-stopper right now. i need a fucking handsome and warm and kind and intuitive and wonderful dude. nothing less.
Travis: a susperstar
Jesse: yeah...but not brassy or loud. just mind-blowingly GOOD.
Travis: i hear ya...
IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT
Travis: what are your plans tonight, assuming your sickness stays at bay?
Jesse: im off to work. my restaurant is hosting a buy out ofr these two fags who are getting married at missoin dolores right now and then we are their reception. so i gotta go get clean. and after that...crash. i. am. sick. and i have a long rehearsal tomorrow.
Travis: okay. rest up where you can.
Jesse: sweet. laterzz.
